I've been off work recently. I've had some pretty serious heart issues that my doctors think might be POTS. It'll take a while to get diagnosed. I'm coming out of my flare up now. But in the lead up to and peak of my flare up? I was in the midst of horrific burnout: impossible deadlines lead by a profit rabid CEO, a code base of 50k+ lines with crippling technical debt and no refactoring.
I'm SO burnt out. I've been working on my boss's massive project, we keep getting crunches by his boss. As a result? He can't keep up, neither can I, and he resorts to using LLMs to do some of his coding for him. This grows the technical debt, because the code it outputs is terrible and doesn't make much sense. It causes problems, and then I'm tasked with fixing it.
Being chronically ill is so hard. It feels like very few people around you actually recognise that you're even disabled. Worse yet? Your doctor is also likely to think you're a hypochondriac while you try to figure out what's going on. The underlying message a lot of spoonies recieve about our experiences and bodies is that: "Your experiences of your body cannot be trusted". The sad thing is? You probably spend the first few years of your chronic illness convinced that you're just being overly paranoid. There's nothing wrong with you! They're right, you're just overthinking it.
I share my thinkymeat's thoughts here 🧠.
Just a late 20s
transfemme with a passion for academia, science, politics and coding.
